Strange and Wonderful

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Tom: A perfect song for my homemade distortion microphone. 

Mic Ingredients:

  • 40 mm diameter galvanised pipe [kinda like the stuff they makes scaffold poles out of],
  • wire mesh from a science lab,
  • the plastic leg of a table,
  • XLR connector (for the cable),
  • small round block of wood,
  • 2 wires,
  • soldering iron,
  • a perfectly good working telephone (you smash to get access to the earpiece.) 

We all know from our school science that a microphone is just a speaker in reverse. So that is how it works. You shout into the earpiece and it vibrates the diaphragm of the speaker which moves with mechanical energy, creates a charge, send that to preamp and presto: heavily distorted vocals. This is a similar idea to how a harmonica bullet mic works. But hey those things are expensive. Note well. This mic is currently in pieces as I attempted to pull the xlr cable out of the back without pressing that little switch down. [Arch: he’ll probably convert it into a pipe organ now]

Back to the song

Drawing heavy influences from Sparklehorse, Mercury Rev and the Muppets this ditty sprung to life from the dulcet tones of Arch’s six string acoustic, recorded directly into the mic of an iPad. I don’t quite know what he was thinking but I got to work on my Miditech i37 keyboard and  descending string arrangement was born.   

Heavily compressed vocal choirs gallop over widescreen panoramic vistas of double meaning. While bubbling climatic clouds gather and wage war on the plains below. Sorry going all sixth form creative writing there.  Basically it is atmospheric, brooding and mysterious. Who is Cornelius? What did he invent? Why did it take so long? Would we miss it if it wasn’t here?

Questions, more questions and no answers. But be sure “to build it yourself and they will find.”


[Andy: Favourite part of this track is the soaring keyboard solo before the final chorus. Bursts like rays of sunshine through this strange world]


Tom: Speaking of wear and tear check out this close up of my old trusty Cort Earth 100F guitar. Not quite as bad as Willie Nelson’s Trigger but still that is some wear and tear man. In these days of hip hop beats and riots in the streets the Wheels are still strumming these musical relics of the 20th century. 


The guitar work strewn all through this album is a wonderful thing to appreciate. Arch’s textures and leads are a sight to see and hear! I say this publicly. The guy is the Antonio Salieri to my Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, the cheddar to my cheese, the John to my Cleese? Needless to say he takes the primitive, roughshod and down right misshapen guitar playing demos of yours truly and crafts them into an alternative vision with clarity and detail. Like he says” You need to shift a ton of dirt to find a nugget of gold.” Here is the gold…



Listening to Gareth Thomas’s Fizzy Milk Album. Shout out to Gareth as our unofficial audio consultant!!